Searching For Myself....

Seeing this as my 18th day of being here at SPU, I have been through a lot of internal struggles.  There have been a lot of "Where the heck do I fit in here?!" moments. Back at home, I knew that I was a certain thing to one friend, or number 10 in my class rank, or a leader in the church, but here no one really knows me. I constantly wonder what I am putting out as who I am, which made me think of the question who am I? So this has been looming over my head for the past couple of days and it has caused me to be a little depressed. Fortunately, my lovely community at SPU has played a big role into helping me discover who I truly am.
      In my politics class (who would have known) my professor taught us about philosophy and how it is all about questioning everything. Not just questioning authority, but questioning the root of the actions that we do. He then also told us to measure everything to the idea of mortality. For example, Do I want to spend my life doing (fill in action here) knowing that one day I will die? Crazy deep, right?! So I have been really evaluating EVERYTHING that I have been doing these past couple of days. Some of the revelations have been really hard to swallow, but it makes my heart happy to know that God has been revealing these things to me.

    Also, tonight in group we went through a couple of verses in Joshua chapter 1 and God's command to us rang through the room. "Be strong and very courageous." The speaker told us that God called us to be   set apart and then he said some super deep stuff that I would mess up if I even tried to repeat it. But he revealed to us that we are now a part of Israel and that even though we are not preparing for battle like the Israelites, we need to be courageous to be set apart. That hit me like a ton of bricks because I had been trying to blend in and in that process was losing myself. After the speaker talked a little bit more, he gave us a time for quiet reflection. In my quiet time, I prayed that God will give me the courage to be able to reflect God's call on my life to be set apart. As I was praying that, I seriously had this overwhelming feeling of God's anointing on my life to be set apart.

So my challenge to you all is to reflect on if you are living a life separate of the norms of the world or if you are living a life that is conformed to the perfect will of God. If not, I repeat this to you "Be Strong and VERY Courageous." Take courage and take the first step in walking in God's will for you.

 ⁷ “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. ⁸ Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:7-9 


Please enjoy the song :)